Inside Looking Out

Count all the days I've been living in solitude
It all adds up but I don't really want it to
Cause time is a waste and I don't think it ever lasts
I'd rather be stuck in today and forget my past

I am what I am and I don't wanna think about
The ways I could change or at least try to figure out
There's no way I'd feel the same
As I do when I hide my face

I will drown inside myself
It's what keeps me happy
And I will stand beside myself
Because it's healthy
And I could care for no one else
As long as I've got myself and I'm
On the inside looking out

The sun never shines through the windows I've covered up
I sit in the dark and I drink from a dirty cup
My favorite escape is the corner of any room
Where I can lie and feel a little less a fool

My hands getting numb yeah, they're older than I've become
My hair I don't cut cause I don't need to show it off
There's no reason to impress
Sometimes I don't even dress

I will drown inside myself
It's what keeps me happy
And I will stand beside myself
Because it's healthy
And I could care for no one else
As long as I've got myself and I'm
On the inside looking out

I could be dreaming of something but I won't
Cause I know that there's nothing coming by
Tonight
I dance alone cause I think that it's funny
I just keep on like a jaded monkey
As time goes by

This is my life though you may think it's not worth living
I do enjoy being cold and alone cause I'm crazy
And that's what I am all about
I live from the inside looking out

I will drown inside myself
It's what keeps me happy
And I will stand beside myself
Because it's healthy
And I could care for no one else
As long as I've got myself and I'm
On the inside looking out...
posted by 123454321 at 3:49 PM

For You By John Carter


I always thought you'd be
In love with me
Too much thinking made you
Run from me

By my love I am torn
Like a moth I am drawn
Into the light that is you

It's getting hard for me
Not to call you every day
I never meant for us to
Drift apart this way

I have weathered the storm
Into which I was born
I would tame the oceans for you

You've made it clear,
I got too near
I used to be happy alone
Now it's solitude I fear

If I can't be in your heart
You push me back to the start
I would do it all over for you

I could leave you alone,
No more talk on the phone
Resign myself to
Lonely days at home

Though your life may go on
Even though I have gone
Still my heart stays with you...
posted by 123454321 at 8:35 PM

Capture The Wind By John Carter

If ever my patience should wear a bit thin
Remember I'm trying to capture the wind
It slips through my fingers and blows through my hair
It's something to chase when you're not there

Tell me, why do I
Try and catch the wind
When I know that I
Can never win

There's a part of me
That longs to be
Where you are
But it seems so far

If you can see to the heart of me
You'll understand why I can't let this be
I just can't abide by the truth and the lies
When the greater calling still lurks inside

Tell me, why do I
Try and catch the wind
When I know that I
Can never win

There's a part of me
That longs to be
Where you are
But it seems so far...
posted by 123454321 at 8:53 AM

Your Eyes By John Carter


This endless devotion
To senseless emotion
Is leaving me out in the cold

The warmth of your firelight
Is gleaming like pyrite
I'm foolish to think that it's gold

But I
Won't deny
That I
Failed to try
And I
Can't describe
The way I feel inside

Can't decide
If I
Want to cry
Or just
Run and hide
Hide away from your eyes

This pain and this suffering
From lies that are covering
The truth as they follow you home

This must be the season
For rhyme and for reason
In tune with the lies you have told

But I
Won't deny
That I
Failed to try
And I
Can't describe
The way I feel inside

Can't decide
If I
Want to cry
Or just
Run and hide
Hide away from your eyes

Your warming embrace and
The look on your face still
Deny me the joy of your sorrow

The fact of the matter
I'm broken and battered
Just don't think you'll find me tomorrow

But I
Won't deny
That I
Failed to try
And I
Can't describe
The way I feel inside

Can't decide
If I
Want to cry
Or just
Run and hide
Hide away from your eyes...
posted by 123454321 at 10:10 AM

Forever By John Carter


I see the spark has gone
Now from your hollow eyes
And up until this point
I never realized

That I could hear you
But you haven't said a thing
I always thought that I
Just wasn't listening

What did we do to each other?
Now that we're running for cover
I could have sworn you said
You'd love me forever

What of the ties we've severed?
Thinking we'd go it together
I could have sworn I said
I'd love you forever

My heart can take so much
But can't stand your abuse
I never thought a heart
Would ever be much use

No bones within my heart
So I know it can't break
But that don't mean that I
Can stand and bear this ache

What did we do to each other?
Now that we're running for cover
I could have sworn you said
You'd love me forever

What of the ties we've severed?
Thinking we'd go it together
I don't remember saying
I'd love you forever

So now we go along
This lonely road alone
A pair apart, just set
Adrift without a home

And now I look upon
The love that we have shared
Never wept, never smiled
Wasn't getting anywhere

What did we do to each other?
Now that we're running for cover
I'm pretty sure you said
You'd love me forever

What of the ties we've severed?
Thinking we'd go it together
I know I never said
I'd love you forever

What did we do to each other?
Now that we're running for cover
I know damn well you said
You'd love me forever

What of the ties we've severed?
Thinking we'd go it together
I swear I never said
I'd love you forever...
posted by 123454321 at 11:00 PM