Signs you're getting old:


1. Your house plants are alive, and you can't
smoke any of them.



2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the
question.



3. You keep more food than beer in the
fridge.



4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go
to bed.




5. You hear your favorite song on an
elevator.




6. You watch the Weather Channel.




7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of
hook up and break up.




8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.




9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify
as "dressed up."




10. You're the one calling the police because
those damn kids next door won't turn down the
stereo.




11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex
jokes around you.




12. You don't know what time TacoBell closes
anymore.




13. Your car insurance goes down and your
payments go up.




14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of
McDonalds leftovers.




15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.




16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 PM.




17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead
of the beginning of one.




18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM
would severely upset, rather than settle your
stomach.




19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and
antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.




20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty
good stuff."




21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast
time.




22. "I just can't drink the way I used to,"
replaces, "I'm never going to drink that much
again."




23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a
computer is for real work.




24. You drink at home to save money before going
to a bar.




25. You read this entire list looking
desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to
you and can't find one to save your sorry old
ass.

posted by 123454321 at 2:10 PM