I never thought I would be thrust into your life again.

I abandoned you like I never should have. I had something you didn't and I don't know how, but I let you go because I thought you didn't want me anymore. Truth be told, I could never make it without you. I don't know if I let you see that weakness in me that you draw out like blood into a tube, if you could taste my nervous breath when you looked into my eyes, if you could smell the smile I tried to hide when I watched you wave goodbye. But the weakness was there for your taking.

Maybe you saw it, and didn't want it.

I remember a tearful discussion one night while we were both holding each other on this wall of sanity, and the heartbreaking words you told me, even though it was what we both needed. I don't know what hurt me worse; that you were giving up on that chance, or that you knew I couldn't make you happy. All I want to do is kiss your emotional wounds and nurse you back into the strong, amazing woman I know you are inside.

When I heard your voice for the first time in so long, I thought I could feel you smile. I wonder if your heart skipped a beat.

Am I putting my heart out just to have it stepped on one last time? At least I will know sooner because unlike the rest of the people in my life, you are the only one that has never lied to me. You tell me exactly what is going on, what you're feeling, and why. I never had to question you.

I feel so strongly now that I have a chance again. We're both different people; we're both stronger, we're both older, we've both been through drama and roller coasters of emotion and lust. We've both been burned; but we've both healed.

Maybe this time, we can put out the fire together. Maybe that smile you give to me has a message behind it that I didn't catch before. Maybe you see me differently.

You can't write a love song if you've never had your heart broken. But now, even with the haunting, sticky residue of bandages I have used, my still tender but strongly beating heart is ready to try writing that love song. I've cried. I've hurt. And I know how to do things right this time.

I hope you can see it in my eyes when I look at you. I hope I can feel you again.

The emotionless Devil in me shattered when I heard your voice. That love song is playing in my head and I hope and pray that you can hear it too.

posted by 123454321 at 4:06 PM