As Good As You By John Carter


I've been trying to make the most
Of the days you've given me
Tried to be a gracious host
But I'm starting now to see

I'll never be as good as you
But that doesn't mean that I won't try
No, I'll never be as good as you
But that doesn't mean I'll say goodbye

Been trying to get a handle
On what's wrong and what's right
But I still can't hold a candle
To your brilliant, shining light

I'll never be as good as you
But that doesn't mean that I won't try
No, I'll never be as good as you
But that doesn't mean I'll say goodbye

They say the best part of me is you
They say that I'm the luckiest man alive
I rely so much on you to see me through
To hold these tears and hide the pain inside

I'll never be as good as you
I'll never be as good as you

I'll never be as good as you
But that doesn't mean that I won't try
No, I'll never be as good as you
But that doesn't mean I'll say goodbye...

posted by 123454321 at 1:18 PM

Through By John Carter

Tonight it's over
Tonight we're through
Oh, how I wish
Your words didn't ring true

But one last thing
Before I go
There's one last thing
I want you to know

I loved you the day
I looked in your eyes
And I know that you saw
Through my simple disguise

And I never did stop
Loving you like I do
But I know I can't make
You love me too

I tried my best
We gave it a chance
But you can't build trust
Out of fickle romance

I tried to make your
Dreams from this sand
And believe when I say
This is not what I planned

I loved you the day
I looked in your eyes
And I know that you saw
Through my simple disguise

And I never did stop
Loving you like I do
But I know I can't make
You love me too

This is more than I dreamed
This is more than I planned
And a fire has grown
From the spark that we fanned

My intentions were good
You just can't understand
That I know your soul
Like the back of my hand

I loved you the day
I looked in your eyes
And I know that you saw
Through my simple disguise

And I never did stop
Loving you like I do
But I know I can't make
You love me too...

posted by 123454321 at 7:39 PM

I'm just too wise
To be surprised
By all the lies
That you tell me

You've hurt me more
Than you did before
Now what's in store
For the lonely?



posted by 123454321 at 11:10 PM

Beneath The Moon By John Carter

Moonlight plays across your face
Your scars look out of place
The shadows seem to dance tonight

Long lost heroes come to life
And fall under the knife
You put up such a splendid fight

Step back from the edge
Of escape so cold and dead
I'll give anything to be with you

Open darkened eyes to see
And save yourself for me
I'll do anything to see this through

You're not the only one
To sleep under the sun
And live beneath the moon

Take another breath and sigh
I'll fill in the blanks inside
And make you feel so whole again

Living must be hard to do
When all that's real is you
Does it help to know you've got a friend?

Step back from the edge
Of escape so cold and dead
I'll give anything to be with you

Open darkened eyes to see
And save yourself for me
I'll do anything to see this through

You're not the only one
To sleep under the sun
And live beneath the moon

What could make you so depraved
That you cannot be saved
Tell me what you've got to hide

Fragile weakness starts to show
Your silent truth aglow
I know you're not so dark inside

Step back from the edge
Of escape so cold and dead
I'll give anything to be with you

Open darkened eyes to see
And save yourself for me
I'll do anything to see this through

You're not the only one
To sleep under the sun
And live beneath the moon...

posted by 123454321 at 9:08 PM

Faith By John Carter

Please forgive me
For I've been a fool
I'm no stranger
To this dark room

Show me love now
Warm and true
Hide the misery
Cold and cruel

I've been battered
Bruised and busted
Heart's been shattered
By those I've trusted

And I'd ignored
This pain inside
Til you restored
My faith in life

Please allow me
Time to explain
Forgotten pleasure
Remembered pain

I've seen time fly
But I remain
Faded sunlight
Driving rain

I've been battered
Bruised and busted
Heart's been shattered
By those I've trusted

And I'd ignored
This pain inside
Til you restored
My faith in life

Please believe me
Words of song
Breathe this lifeline
Clear and strong

I've been so jealous
I've been so wrong
But now I'm here
Where I belong

I've been battered
Bruised and busted
Heart's been shattered
By those I've trusted

And I'd ignored
This pain inside
Til you restored
My faith in life...

posted by 123454321 at 7:48 PM

Walk On Water By John Carter

You say
We're probably better off this way
And you don't have a reason to stay
But I can't live with that

It seems
You're occupied with all your dreams
And I'm not sure what all this means
And I can't live with that

Oh, we lived by the sea
In a castle in the sand
And I'll walk on the water
To see you again

I'll run for your shores
Make you understand
I'll walk on the water
Just to see you again

I say
I haven't thought of you in days
But don't believe a word I say
Please don't let me go

We'll try
To find another reason why
There's nothing left to do but cry
I won't let you go

Oh, we lived by the sea
In a castle in the sand
And I'll walk on the water
To see you again

I'll run for your shores
Want to hold your hand
I'll walk on the water
Just to see you again...

posted by 123454321 at 6:49 PM

Lost In You By John Carter

The sound you hear
Is crying in the dark
The bond we made
Is pulling us apart

The love I had
Is clinging to my back
Can't stand,
But I don't care

I get lost in you
I can't tell the truth
From the lies
That you say
I can't live this way

I get lost in you
I've betrayed my youth
For the lies
That you say
I can't live this way

The voice you hear
Is pounding in my head
I can't believe
The stupid things you said

The hand I hold
Is still around my neck
Can't breathe
But I don't care

I get lost in you
I can't tell the truth
From the lies
That you say
I can't live this way

I get lost in you
I've betrayed my youth
For the lies
That you say
I can't live this way

The words you hear
Are ringing in the air
I make you listen
I can't make you care

The fear I hide
Is killing me inside
Can't live,
But I don't care

I get lost in you
I can't tell the truth
From the lies
That you say
I can't live this way

I get lost in you
I've betrayed my youth
For the lies
That you say
I can't live this way

I get lost in you
I can't find the truth
I get lost in you
I don't care...

posted by 123454321 at 9:51 PM

Just To Know You By John Carter

You're not a friend
You're not an enemy
You're everything and nothing
To me now

You're a Godsend
You've been sent to me
And I've got to know about you
Somehow

Who are you
What are you doing in my life
Who are you
Have you come to join this fight

You're all that I believe in
But you're everything I'm not
A dream I fall asleep in
I'll give up everything I've got

Just to know you...

I'm not afraid
Not a coward, not today
Just inexperienced
You know I've never felt this way

I'm all upset
I'm so confused
So inept at expressing
The miracle that is you

Who are you
What are you doing in my life
Who are you
Have you come to join this fight

You're all that I believe in
But you're everything I'm not
A dream I fall asleep in
I'll give up everything I've got

Just to know you...

posted by 123454321 at 10:43 PM

This Time By John Carter

I still feel your soul
Inside me
But I can't break these chains
That bind me
I can't say who
Designed me
To feel like

This time
It's all gonna change
Maybe this time
I won't take the blame

Now I realize
With you here to hold
I will never walk alone
But I feel so cold

I still see you here
Beside me
But I can't speak to you
So kindly
I can't love you
So blindly
Believing

This time
It's all gonna change
Maybe this time
I won't take the blame

Now I realize
With you here to hold
I will never walk alone
But I feel so cold

I still hear your voice
Behind me
Begging me to stay
In hiding
I don't need you
To define me
And tell me

This time
It's all gonna change
Maybe this time
I won't take the blame

Now I realize
With you here to hold
I will never walk alone
But I feel so cold

I'd rather walk alone
I'd rather live without a home
Than stay another moment
In your lying, loving arms

This time
It's never gonna change
Maybe next time
You'll share a little blame

Now I realize
Without you to hold
I will always walk alone
But I'll fight against the cold...

posted by 123454321 at 9:13 PM

The Only Way By John Carter


They say the choices that we make
The chances that we take
Define who we become

Well, I'm hoping that it's nothing
But it surely feels like something
And I wonder, what have I done?

It seems like every day is a Monday
I'd like to be free, just for one day
It's too late to look back
And I'm starting to crack
And you're the only way

There's no sunshine in my day
Only clouds so dark and grey
It hurts my pride
And I die inside
A little more each day

And you're the only way

They tell you it's OK to cry
But they ask you why you sigh
I didn't know I'd changed

My friends from long ago
They act like they don't know me
Why the hell do I seem so strange?

It seems like every day is a Monday
I'd like to be free, just for one day
It's too late to look back
And I'm starting to crack
And you're the only way

There's no sunshine in my day
Only clouds so dark and grey
It hurts my pride
And I die inside
A little more each day

And you're the only way

Understand me
Hold me tight
I don't want to be alone tonight

Love me truly
Kiss me deep
I don't want to go to sleep

No sunshine in my day
These colors fade to grey
It's a price I just won't pay
And a game that I can't play

You're the only way
You're the only way...



posted by 123454321 at 9:42 PM

Flower In The Dust By John Carter

She's a wild one, now
And she runs free
She won't fade out,
And won't concede

She laughs a little
When she bleeds
And she gets by
With what she needs

She's a flower in the dust
Some parts are hollow,
And some parts rust
There's nothing you can do
To make her fall in love with you
Just hope to one day
Earn her trust

She's a flower in the dust

She packed a bag
To leave this town
She'll be gone when
You come around

She's drawn to freedom
Just by the sound
She's too high now
To ever come down

She's a flower in the dust
Some parts are hollow,
And some parts rust
There's nothing you can do
To make her fall in love with you
Just hope to one day
Earn her trust

She's a flower in the dust

She means words she hasn't said
She's said words she didn't mean
But the words she doesn't say
Don't match the things I haven't seen

She's a flower in the dust
Some parts are hollow,
And some parts rust
There's nothing you can do
To make her fall in love with you
Just hope to one day
Earn her trust

She's a flower in the dust...

posted by 123454321 at 10:21 AM

Tell Me You Love Me By John Carter

Tell me you love me
Or tell me you don't
You say that I'll hurt you
I tell you I won't

Ask me no questions
And I'll tell you no lies
Don't you know by now
How to read my disguise

And I feel so bold
And it feels so right
To be with you
Right here tonight

Oh, I feel so cold
And it feels so wrong
To know you weren't
Here all along

Tell me a story
With laughter and fun
And tell me I'm
The only one

A sweet allegory
Of someone like you
Then tell me
You can feel this too

And I feel so bold
And it feels so right
To be with you
Right here tonight

Oh, I feel so cold
And it feels so wrong
To know you weren't
Here all along

I love you
Love me too
Please tell me
Everything about you

I miss you
It's so true
Please give me
Something to hold on to...

posted by 123454321 at 8:41 PM

Surrounded By John Carter

Everywhere I look
I'm surrounded by fools
Blinded by the media
They're nothing but tools

A new demographic
They don't much care
For personal freedom
They run cuz they're scared

And the Executive Branch
Is pimping their terror
To convince the poor masses
They'd better beware

"The war is around us,
We'll fight it abroad
Or we'll fight it at home"
We believe this fraud??

We're nothing but mice
In a room full of men
We're all going to die,
Just a matter of when

This media circus
This political cartoon
I don't know where we're headed,
But we'll be there soon...

posted by 123454321 at 11:22 PM

Alexandra The Great By John Carter

Nobody talks about
Alexander the Good
Or the things that you say
You'd have done if you could

Nobody knows
The love you don't share
I just stumble around
Blisslessly unaware

So tell me you love me
If it were ever true
And maybe you'll hear
That I've loved you too

I see you look at me
And I know I can wait
To watch you become
Alexandra the Great...

posted by 123454321 at 10:50 PM

Sober By John Carter


I'm not the kind
To suffer in silence
But the truth remains
No man is an island

I'm trying to fill
This deepening hole
But the dirt just piles
On top of my soul

You can be so cruel
When you're sober
So do your worst,
Wake me up when it's over

These times go by
And I can't recall
One day that wasn't
Fucked up at all

How can I explain
And how could I deny
This torch of anger
That burns inside?

And could I conquer
This mortal fear
That someday I
Might still be here?

You can be so cruel
When you're sober
So do your worst,
Wake me up when it's over

These times go by
And I can't recall
One day that wasn't
Fucked up at all...

posted by 123454321 at 7:10 PM

Superstitious By John Carter

You know I ain't superstitious
'Bout where I sleep tonight
I just pray my wishes
And I turn out the light

Can't help but think about you
What you're doing now
You know I can't live without you
I'll be with you somehow

I know it's my turn
To walk away
Can't force myself to go
I know in my heart
You'll turn away
But I want you to know

I love you
And I love the way you move
These feelings
They aren't that hard to prove
Maybe this time
We'll get that second chance
I'll show you
What I've learned about romance

You know I ain't superstitious
'Bout where I sleep tonight
I just pray my wishes
And I turn out the light

Can't help but think about you
What you're doing now
You know I can't live without you
I'll be with you somehow

It's my turn
To walk away
Don't turn away
From me
It's never been fun
To break apart
But I want you to see

I love you
And I love the way you move
These feelings
They aren't that hard to prove
Maybe this time
We'll get that second chance
I'll show you
What I've learned about romance

I'll still love you...

posted by 123454321 at 8:38 PM

I'll Be There By John Carter

You'll never know
How much you mean to me
And you'll never know
How I feel inside

Oh, you'll never know
The joy you bring to me
And you'll never know
The love I've tried to hide

But you know
It's all forgivable
And you know
When life's not livable

I'll be there

You'll never know
The way things could've been
And you'll never know
The times that you have missed

Oh, you'll never know
The laughter we'd have shared
And you'll never know
The angry side of bliss

But you know
It's all forgivable
And you know
When life's not livable

I'll be there

It's all forgivable
I'll be there...

posted by 123454321 at 7:55 PM

Thank You

I feel like a motel painting
Bolted to a bathroom wall
As if anyone would ever
Want to take me at all

And it seems so dramatic
These things that I feel
So damaged inside
While the outside's healed

But you've seen my worst
And you've found my best
And you've turned my soul
Into a comfortable nest

The sun shines a little brighter
Whenever you're near
And I'm emptier without you
When you can't be here

Yes, I'm a little damaged
I've been roughed up a bit
A scratch and dent appliance
But you seem happy with it

So thank you for your patience
And thank you for these years
You're the first to cry for me
And I'm the first to dry your tears.

posted by 123454321 at 1:47 PM

How to Live By John Carter

Would you see it
If I showed you
Would you believe
If you were told

That the greatest thing
You'd ever have
Could not be bought
Or sold?

What would you share with me
If I gave you a lifetime?
What could you take from me
If I had it all to give?

How could we make this last
If we give it a lifeline?
And who will I become
If you show me how to live?

Would you tell me
If I hurt you?
Would you hide it
When you cried?

Would you confess to me
All of your fears?
And how you feel
Inside?

What would you share with me
If I gave you a lifetime?
What could you take from me
If I had it all to give?

How could we make this last
If we give it a lifeline?
And who will I become
If you show me how to live?

Would you love me
If I meant it
When I say
I love you so?

Would you forgive me
If I told you
That I'd finally
Have to go?

What would you share with me
If I gave you a lifetime?
What could you take from me
If I had it all to give?

How could we make this last
If we give it a lifeline?
And who will I become
If you show me how to live?

Will you show me how to live?

posted by 123454321 at 6:50 PM

Wrong By John Carter

No use in making a scene
This break is gonna be clean
You know it's not right
It's just not right

I'm not going down in flames
And I'm not taking this blame
You know it's not right
It's not right
It's not right

You think you're strong
But you're wrong
You're wrong
You pull me along
But I'm gone
I'm gone

There is no making this right
But I've never failed to fight
You know it's not right
It's just not right

It don't make no sense at all
But I'm not catching your fall
You know it's not right
It's not right
It's not right

You think you're strong
But you're wrong
You're wrong
You pull me along
But I'm gone
I'm gone

It's not right
No, it's not right
This insight
Is pulling away reality
It's not right
No, it's not right
The inside
Is pulling its way outside of me

You think you're strong
But you're wrong
You're wrong
You pull me along
But I'm gone
I'm gone....

posted by 123454321 at 3:24 PM

Run Away By John Carter

I'm so afraid
I'm slipping away
I'm so scared to fail
But it gets easier each day

I'm tired inside
I know that I've tried
To be who I should be
It's who I am inside

Wasting away
Passing the days
Trying to run away
Failing to fight
This fading light
Trying to run away
Run away...

I'm pacing my cage
These bars are a stage
Performing my song
And feeling so strange

I'll sing and I'll dance
I've had my chance
And I've never come out
Of this damned trance

Wasting away
Passing the days
Trying to run away
Failing to fight
This fading light
Trying to run away
Run away...

posted by 123454321 at 10:09 PM

Bridge By John Carter

You can look at it all
In a positive light
But the positive light
Burned out last night

You don't know it all
But you know it ain't right
Why someone like you
Should have to fight

Trying to live
Flying too high
Finding the edge
And learning to cry

Fighting gravity
Standing over the ledge
And turning away
Walking off of the bridge

You see it so clear
It's not meant for you
But clear enough, you
Can see right through

Hoping for the best
Taking on the worst
If you settled for the rest,
That'd be a first

Trying to live
Flying too high
Finding the edge
And learning to cry

Fighting gravity
Standing over the ledge
And turning away
Walking off of the bridge...

(For a Friend...)

posted by 123454321 at 11:55 AM

Free By John Carter

I slammed the door shut
On part of my life
I severed contact
With a slice of the knife

I locked that door
And threw away the key
But you've awoken
That lost part of me

I'm breaking down the walls
Staring into destiny
Running down these halls
Racing for the chance to be
Free

I once escaped
From this tragic desire
I made my way
Through the lake of fire

When I arrived
At the gates I'd made
I realized
That I cannot be saved

I'm breaking down the walls
Staring into destiny
Running down these halls
Racing for the chance to be
Free...

posted by 123454321 at 7:30 PM

I Won't Forget By John Carter

Spent my life as
A foregone conclusion
And I treasure
These little illusions
I don't think
I can take this confusion
These desperate delusions
Are pouring over my head

I've been down
But it's looking up
I can walk
I just can't stand up
I've been waiting for you
I just didn't know it yet
But I won't forget

All this time giving in
To temptation
Always searching for
Celebration
When your life
Has become a vacation
So full of elation
You'll see it

I've been down
But it's looking up
I can walk
I just can't get up
I've been waiting for you
I just didn't know it yet
But I won't forget...

posted by 123454321 at 5:55 PM

Smiling In The Dark By John Carter

Don't mind me
I'm only smiling in the dark
I'm only thinking
Of the time we spent apart
And how it made me love you more

Don't you worry
It's only tearing me apart
I'm only wondering
If this was love from the start
When you were still the girl next door

If you're wondering
Why I never smile at anyone
You'll be happy to know
It's all because of you

I've only dreamt of this
And now it's really happening
You just ought to know
I smile
When I dream
Of you...

posted by 123454321 at 10:19 PM

Rather By John Carter

I'm all tapped out
Hollowed out inside
Bleeding out my purpose
Drowning in my pride

I'm crying out
Begging you to stay
Feeling out my lifeline
Fading into grey

Chorus:
I'd rather die in my world
Than live in yours another day
I can't keep it up this way

I'd rather lie to this girl
Than sit in silence all along
I can't write another song


If I were a better man
I'd sing to you today
But better men than I
Have often fought away dismay

Leading up to never
And boiling down to nothing
I thought that I was right
I always thought that you were bluffing

(Chorus)

I'd rather die
Than live alone
I'd rather cry
These tears of stone

I'd rather lie
Than quiet down
I don't want to swim without you
I like to think I'd rather drown

(Chorus)




posted by 123454321 at 11:45 PM

Come Away By John Carter

If you need me to define you
And when some cold winter finds you
I won't be here to remind you
That you're free

If your everyday romances
Leave you uncertain of your chances
And the fire in your eyes dances
Come away with me...

posted by 123454321 at 4:14 PM

Bus Stop By The Hollies

Bus stop, wet day, she's there, I say
Please share my umbrella
Bus stop, bus goes, she stays, love grows
Under my umbrella

All that summer we enjoyed it
Wind and rain and shine
That umbrella, we employed it
By August, she was mine

Every morning I would see her waiting at the stop
Sometimes she'd shopped and she would show me what she bought
All the people stared as if we were both quite insane
Someday my name and hers are going to be the same

That's the way the whole thing started
Silly but it's true
Thinkin' of a sweet romance
Beginning in a queue

Came the sun the ice was melting
No more sheltering now
Nice to think that that umbrella
Led me to a vow

Every morning I would see her waiting at the stop
Sometimes she'd shopped and she would show me what she bought
Other people stared as if we were both quite insane
Someday my name and hers are going to be the same

Bus stop, wet day, she's there, I say
Please share my umbrella
Bus stop, bus goes, she stays, love grows
Under my umbrella

All that summer we enjoyed it
Wind and rain and shine
That umbrella, we employed it
By August, she was mine...

posted by 123454321 at 9:47 PM

Forever Again By John Carter

Some time ago
I lost myself
Trying to find the truth

Somewhere I went
Along this shelf
Just trying to find you

It's the first time
In a long time
That I am not afraid

For the first time
In a long time
I wish that I had stayed

I've been waiting
For a reason
To reveal myself to you

It's amazing
How this season
Has forgiven me my youth

I lost myself
But I found you

The tradeoff was
I lost the proof

I don't know more
Than I knew then

But I can wait
forever again....

posted by 123454321 at 9:42 PM

They say that these are not the best of times
But they’re the only times I’ve ever known
And I believe there is a time for meditation
In cathedrals of our own
Now I have seen that sad surrender in my lover’s eyes
And I can only stand apart and sympathize

For we are always what our situations hand us
It’s either sadness or euphoria

So we’ll argue and we’ll compromise
And realize that nothing’s ever changed
For all our mutual experience
Our separate conclusions are the same
Now we are forced to recognize our inhumanity
Our reason coexists with our insanity

And though we choose between reality and madness
It’s either sadness or euphoria

How thoughtlessly we dissipate our energies
Perhaps we don’t fulfill each other’s fantasies
And as we stand upon the ledges of our lives
With our respective similarities
It’s either sadness or euphoria...

posted by 123454321 at 11:33 AM

I Don't Want To Go Home By John Carter

It's getting dark outside
You say you have to go
I understand
That you've got plans
But I want you to know

I don't want to go home
I don't want to leave you now
I know I have to stay here
I just don't know how

It's getting late, now
It's time for us to part
I always knew
I can't have you
So why did I even start?

I don't want to go home
How could I leave you now?
I've never known this feeling
I've got to stay somehow

I don't want to go home...

posted by 123454321 at 1:43 AM

Somewhere, Somehow By John Carter

I've got no place to go
And no one to see
But somewhere
Someone is waiting for me

I've got time on my hands
And stains on my clothes
But somewhere
My weakness is starting to show

It seems I'm always waiting
For somewhere and somehow
But I don't want to live for that
I want to be here now

You know I want you
You know I care
I'll be with you
Somehow, somewhere
And if you want me
Let it show
Somehow-
I just want to know

I've got blood on my shirt
And love in my heart
But somehow
You've torn me apart

I've got life in my sights
And cash in my hand
But somehow
I'm not in your plans

It seems I'm always waiting
For somewhere and somehow
But I don't want to live for that
I want to be here now

You know I want you
You know I care
I'll be with you
Somehow, somewhere
And if you want me
Let it show
Somehow-
I just want to know

I just want to know...

posted by 123454321 at 2:45 PM

Love By John Carter

I never believed in love
Until I realized it was gone
And there was this pain in my chest
Like something had just shriveled up inside
And lain down to die

I thought it was OK
To just say the words
And never mean them
Until I didn't say the words
But I did mean them

And the part of me that died
Was some stupid little thing
Something superfluous
I never knew was there
And I can live without it
But somehow
There doesn't seem to be a reason
Anymore.

posted by 123454321 at 6:45 PM

posted by 123454321 at 2:49 PM

Love's Divine By Seal

The rainstorm came over me
And I felt my spirit break
I had lost all of my belief you see
And realize my mistake

But time through a prayer to me
And all around me became still

I need love, love's divine
Please forgive me, now I see that I’ve been blind
Give me love, love is what I need
To help me know my name

Through the rainstorm came sanctuary
And I felt my spirit fly
I had felt all of my reality
I realize what it takes

‘Cause I need love, love’s divine
Please forgive me now I see that I’ve been blind
Give me love, love is what I need
To help me know my name

Oh I, don’t bend [don’t bend], don’t break [don’t break]
Show me how to live a promise me you won’t forsake

‘Cause love can help me know my name
Well I try to say there’s nothing wrong
But inside I felt that all in all and all
But the message here was plain to see
Believe in me…

‘Cause I need love, love’s divine
Please forgive me now I see that I’ve been blind
Give me love, love is what I need
To help me know my name

Oh I, don’t bend [don’t bend], don’t break [don’t break]
Show me how to live a promise me you won’t forsake
‘Cause love can help me know my name
Love can help me know my name.

posted by 123454321 at 10:58 PM

Jailed By John Carter

You can't smoke that here,
I thought we made it clear
They're coming down
To slap the cuffs on you

They'll haul you off to jail
But let the killers out on bail
As if the cops
Didn't have enough to do...

posted by 123454321 at 10:16 PM

Dear Abby By John Prine

Dear Abby, Dear Abby
My feet are too long
My hair's falling out
And my rights are all wrong
My friends they all tell me
I've no friends at all
Won't you write me a letter,
Won't you give me a call
Signed, Bewildered

Bewildered, Bewildered
You have no complaint
You are what you are
And you ain't what you ain't
So listen up Buster, and listen up good
Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood

Dear Abby, Dear Abby
My fountain pen leaks
My wife hollers at me
And my kids are all freaks
Every side I get up on
Is the wrong side of bed
If it weren't so expensive
I'd wish I were dead
Signed Unhappy

Unhappy, Unhappy
You have no complaint
You are what you are
And you ain't what you ain't
So listen up Buster, and listen up good
Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood

Dear Abby, Dear Abby
You won't believe this
But my stomach makes noises
Whenever I kiss
My girlfriend, she tells me
It's all in my head
But my stomach, it tells me
To write you instead
Signed, Noise-maker

Noise-maker, Noise-maker
You have no complaint
You are what you are
And you ain't what you ain't
So listen up Buster, and listen up good
Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood

Dear Abby, Dear Abby
Well I never thought
That me and my girlfriend
Would ever get caught
We were sitting in the back seat
Just shooting the breeze
With her hair up in curlers
And her pants to her knees
Signed, Just Married

Just Married, Just Married
You have no complaint
You are what you are
And you ain't what you ain't
So listen up Buster, and listen up good
Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood.
Signed, Dear Abby


posted by 123454321 at 7:03 PM

My World By John Carter

I won't take this blame
I'm done keeping you sane
All you give me is pain
So I've brought you the same

Welcome to my world
Welcome to my sin
Welcome the darkness
We've all been cleansed in

I heard what you said
How you wish I was dead
Not a thought in your head
But your daily bread

Welcome to my world
Welcome to my hate
Welcome the new bonds
The ones you can't break

Lie down on the floor
And cry out your sorrow
Your saline salvation
May bring you tomorrow

Welcome to my world
Welcome to my fear
Welcome the fire now
That dissolves all your tears

Welcome to my world....

posted by 123454321 at 1:58 PM

She came without a farthing
A babe without a name
So much ado about nothing
Is what she'd try to say
So much ado my lover
So many games we played
Through every fleeted summer
Through every precious day

All Dead
All Dead
All the dreams we had
And I wonder why I still live on

All Dead
All Dead
And alone I'm spared
My sweeter half instead
All Dead
And Gone
All Dead...

All Dead
All Dead
At the rainbow's end
And still I hear her own sweet song
All Dead
All Dead
Take me back again
You know my little friend's
All Dead
And gone
All Dead and gone

Her ways are always with me
I wander all the while
But please you must forgive me
I am old but still a child
All Dead
All Dead
But I should not grieve
In time it comes to everyone
All Dead
All Dead
But in hope I breathe
Of course I don't believe
You're dead
And gone
All Dead
And gone...

posted by 123454321 at 11:04 PM

Breakaway By Kelly Clarkson (Lyrics by Avril Lavigne)


Grew up in a small town
And when the rain would fall down
I'd just stare out my window
Dreaming of what could be
And if I'd end up happy
I would pray

Trying hard to reach out
But, when I tried to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I'd pray
I could break away

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky
Make a wish, take a chance, make a change
And break away
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But, I won't forget all the ones that I love
I'll take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And break away

Wanna feel the warm breeze
Sleep under a palm tree
Feel the rush of the ocean
Get onboard a fast train
Travel on a jetplane, far away
And break away

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky
Make a wish, take a chance, make a change
And break away
Out of the darkness and into the sun
I won't forget all the ones that I love
I gotta take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And break away

Buildings with a hundred floors
Swinging round revolving doors
Maybe I don't know where they'll take me
But, gotta keep moving on, moving on
Fly away, break away

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye
Take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And break away
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But, I won't forget the place I come from
I gotta take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And break away
Break away

posted by 123454321 at 1:17 PM

Walking Alone By John Carter

Since I met you
I've never known fear
And my choices
Have all seemed so clear

The time we spent together
Was the best time of my life
And the pain of your leaving
Has cut me like a knife

Now that you've left me
Oh, now that you've departed
I just don't know
If we can finish what we started

I know you love me so
I know you had to go
I know that you'll come home
But for now
I'm walking alone

Since I met you
Each breath I took was gold
And my body
Has never known the cold

Every time I look up
I see you in the clouds
I look at your pictures
And memories abound

But now that you've left me
Oh, now that you've departed
I just don't know
If we can finish what we started

I know you love me so
I know you had to go
I know that you'll come home
But for now
I'm walking alone....


posted by 123454321 at 7:48 PM

I will not waste chalk

I will not aim for the head

I will not skateboard in the halls

I will not barf unless I'm sick

I will not burp in class

I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty

I will not instigate revolution

I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge

I will not draw naked ladies in class

I will not conduct my own fire drills

I did not see Elvis

I will return the seeing-eye dog

Funny noises are not funny

I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes"

I will not snap bras

Garlic gum is not funny

I will not fake seizures

They are laughing at me, not with me

This punishment is not boring and meaningless

I will not yell "fire" in a crowded classroom

My name is not Dr. Death

I will not encourage others to fly

I will not defame New Orleans

I will not fake my way through life

I will not prescribe medication

Tar is not a plaything

I will not bury the new kid

I will not Xerox my butt

I will not teach others to fly

It's potato, not potatoe

I will not bring sheep to class

I will not trade pants with others

A burp is not an answer

The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy

I am not a 32 year old woman

Teacher is not a leper

I will not do that thing with my tongue

Coffee is not for kids

I will not drive the principal's car

I will not eat things for money

I will not pledge allegiance to Bart

I will not yell "She's Dead" during roll call

I will not sell school property

The principal's toupee is not a frisbee

I will not cut corners

I will not squeak chalk

I do not have diplomatic immunity

I will not charge admission to the bathroom

I will not get very far with this attitude

Goldfish don't bounce

I will not make flatulent noises in class

Mud is not one of the 4 food groups

I will not belch the National Anthem

No one is interested in my underpants

I will not sell land in Florida

I will not sell miracle cures

I will not grease the monkey bars

Underwear should be worn on the inside

I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment

The Christmas pageant does not stink

I will not do anything bad ever again

I will not torment the emotionally frail

I will not show off

I will not call the principal "spud head"

I will not carve gods

I will not sleep through my education

I will not spank others

I am not a dentist

I will not bribe Principal Skinner

Spitwads are not free speech

I will finish what I sta...

Nobody likes sunburn slappers

"Bart Bucks" are not legal tender

High explosives and school don't mix

Hamsters cannot fly

All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy

I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause

I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers

My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man

I will not go near the kindergarten turtle

I am not deliciously saucy

Organ transplants are best left to the professionals

I will not send lard through the mail

I will not use abbrev.

Five days is not too long to wait for a gun

Adding "just kidding" doesn't make it okay to insult the Principal

Indian burns are not our cultural heritage

There are plenty of businesses like show business

I will not dissect things unless instructed

I will not hang donuts on my person

No one wants to hear my armpits

I will not mock Mrs. Dumbface

I will not celebrate meaningless milestones

I will not strut around like I own the place

Next time it could be me on the scaffolding

The Good Humor man can only be pushed so far

I will stop talking about the twelve inch pianist

I am not a lean mean spitting machine

The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with Hail Satan

I will not whittle hall passes out of soap

Wedgies are unhealthy for children and other living things

I do not have power of attorney over first graders

Cursive writing does not mean what I think it does

I am not the reincarnation of Sammy Davis Jr

I am not certified to remove asbestos

"Bagman" is not a legitimate career choice

I will not re-transmit without the express permission of Major League Baseball

I will remember to take my medication

The boys room is not a water park

Beans are neither fruit nor musical

Nerve gas is not a toy

"Bewitched" does not promote Satanism

The First Amendment does not cover burping

Ralph won't "morph" if you squeeze him hard enough

posted by 123454321 at 6:02 PM

Virgil Spencer's got a 19 inch Hitachi
And many demons lingering
Friday night he pulled a gun to change the channel
Something that he picked up from the King

His wife remembers well the man she knew
Seems the dreams she had have all turned black and blue
She's wasted here
No time for tears

But there's another chance that someday soon
Shining like the Alabama moon
She's looking for the promised land
Out beyond the lights of Birmingham

It's 3 AM and Virgil's passed out on the sofa
A fifth of Jim Beam on the floor
She's packed a bag, she slips the keys out of his pocket
She's careful not to slam the door

And as she drives she rubs a rosary
She's never been so all alone, but never felt so free
She's got miles to go
Blind faith and hope

Cause there's another chance that someday soon
Shining like the Alabama moon
She's looking for the promised land
Out beyond the lights of Birmingham...

posted by 123454321 at 4:46 PM

The Day You Died By John Carter

There's a cry for help in silence
A sorry state of madness that we're in
Another victim of our social violence
To treat someone like this should be a sin

Your taunts are like blades
And they always hit their mark
Your words so carefully weighed
Each one a stab through the heart

But the answer that you get
Is not enough to satisfy
The tears don't seem so wet
When they're yours instead of mine

You can't take what you give
But that doesn't mean you'll stop
You need my fear to live
And to feed your hatred crop

If I don't give you what you want
You'll starve yourself inside
And maybe your last thought
Will be about the day you died...

posted by 123454321 at 6:09 PM

Loving You By John Carter

When I didn't know you
I know I loved you still
The thought of loving you
Is still my greatest thrill

From making love out of nothing
To making love on the sand
And riding on the beach
With the world in our hands

When I didn't know you
I know I loved you still
The thought of losing you
Could crush my very will

From making a new life
To breaking all our bonds
We share a common soul
When you call, my heart responds

I know you had to leave
We didn't want it to be that way
But soon we'll be together
And move on toward a brighter day...

posted by 123454321 at 7:59 AM

No more blame am I destined to keep you sane?
Gotta rescue the flame
Gotta rescue the flame in your heart
No more blood, I will be there for you my love
I will stand by your side

The world has forsaken my girl
I should have seen it would be this way
I should have known from the start what she's up to
When you have loved and you've lost someone
You know what it feels like to lose

She's fading away
Away from this world
Drifting like a feather
She's not like the other girls
She lives in the clouds
And talks to the birds
Hopeless little one
She's not like the other girls I know

No more shame, she has felt too much pain in her life
In her mind she's repeating the words
All the love you put out will return to you

I should have seen it would be this way
I should have known from the start what she's up to
When you have loved and you've lost someone close to you
You know what it feels like to lose

She's fading away
Away from this world
Drifting like a feather
She's not like the other girls
She lives in the clouds
And talks to the birds
Hopeless little one
She's not like the other girls I know

She's fading away
Away from this world
Drifting like a feather
She's not like the other girls
She lives in the clouds
And talks to the birds
Hopeless little one
She's not like the other girls I know

posted by 123454321 at 2:27 PM

Falling

F-F-F-Falling...

I don't go to school every monday
I've got my reason to sleep
Don't you tell me how I should be

I made up my mind about the music
I made up my mind about the style
I know that I'm stable and able to settle down
but I keep

F-F-F-Falling
Down with the sun
I can't get it on
the night is calling me like a drum
Keep on F-F-F-Falling...

This life is so full of temptation
And I want to keep it that way
I know myself I can handle the game

I made up my mind about the future
I made up my mind about the past
I know I'm stable and able to hold on

F-F-F-Falling
Down with the sun
I can't get it on
The night is calling me like a drum
Keep on F-F-F-Falling...

I need a flame I need a spark
Don't be afraid to open my heart
I need a game I need a shock
Don't be afraid my heart is unlocked

F-F-F-Falling...

posted by 123454321 at 9:17 AM

Pretty When You Cry

You're made of my rib, or baby
You're made of my sin
And I can tell where your lust ends
And where your love begins

I didn't want to hurt you, baby
I didn't want to hurt you
I didn't want to hurt you
But you're pretty when you cry

And the moon gives me permission
And I enter through her eyes
She's losing her virginity
And all her will to compromise

I didn't want to hurt you, baby
I didn't want to hurt you
I didn't want to hurt you
But you're pretty when you cry

I didn't want to fuck you, baby
I didn't want to fuck you
I didn't want to fuck you
But you're pretty when you're mine

I didn't really love you, baby
I didn't really love you
I didn't really love you
But I'm pretty when I lie

You hurt me baby, I hurt you baby

If you knew how much I love you,
You would run away
But when I treat you bad
It always makes you want to stay

I didn't want to hurt you baby
I didn't want to hurt you baby
How can you do this to me now?

posted by 123454321 at 8:17 PM

In The Shadows

No sleep,
No sleep until I'm done with finding the answer
Won't stop,
Won't stop before I find the cure for this cancer

Sometimes
I feel like going down, I'm so disconnected
Somehow
I know that I am haunted to be wanted

I've been watching, I've been waiting
In the shadows for my time
I've been searching, I've been living
For tomorrows all my life

They say
That I must learn to kill before I can feel safe
But I,
I'd rather kill myself than turn into their slave

Sometimes
I feel that I should go and play with the thunder
Somehow
I just don't wanna stay and wait for a wonder

I've been watching, I've been waiting
In the shadows for my time
I've been searching, I've been living
For tomorrows all my life

Lately, I've been walking, walking in circles
Watching, waiting for something
Feel me, touch me, heal me
Come take me higher

I've been watching, I've been waiting
In the shadows for my time
I've been searching, I've been living
For tomorrows all my life

I've been watching,
I've been waiting,
I've been searching,
I've been living,
For tomorrows....

In the shadows....

In the shadows.....

I've been waiting.....

posted by 123454321 at 1:15 PM

Dream By John Carter

You wake up
Drenched in sweat

You wonder if
It's over yet

The dream you dreamt
So vividly

Is gone away
And lividly

You wish you'd never
Been given a way

To dream, yet live
Another day...


posted by 123454321 at 8:12 AM

Standing Outside A Broken Phone Booth With Money In My Hands

Jan lays down and wrestles in her sleep

Moonlight spills on comic books

And superstars in magazines

An old friend calls and tells us where to meet

Her plane takes off from Baltimore

And touches down on Bourbon Street

We sit outside and argue all night long

About a God we've never seen

But never fails to side with me

Sunday comes and all the papers say

Ma Theresa's joined the mob

And happy with her full time job

Am I alive or thoughts that drift away?

Does summer come for everyone?

Can humans do what prophets say?

And if I die before I learn to speak

Can money pay for all the days

I lived awake

But half asleep?

A life is time, they teach you growing up

The seconds ticking killed us all

A million years before the fall

You ride the waves but don't ask where they go

You swim like lions through the crest

And bathe yourself in zebra flesh...

posted by 123454321 at 11:38 AM

Vindicated

Hope dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption
Winding in and winding out
The shine of it has caught my eye
And roped me in
So mesmerizing, and so hypnotizing
I am captivated, I am...

Vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear I'm right
Swear I knew it all along
And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself

So clear Like the diamond in your ring
Cut to mirror your intention
Oversized and overwhelmed
The shine of which has caught my eye
And rendered me so isolated, so motivated
I am certain now that I am...

Vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear I'm right
Swear I knew it all along
And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself

So turn
Up the corners of your lips
Part them and feel my finger tips
Trace the moment, fall forever
Defense is paper thin
Just one touch and I'd be in
Too deep now to ever swim against the current

So let me slip away
So let me slip against the current
So let me slip away

Vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear I'm right
Swear I knew it all along
And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself

Like hope
Dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption...

posted by 123454321 at 7:39 AM

No Apologies By John Carter

I'll write you no apologies
And I'll show no regret
For anything I've ever done
And everything I've said

I'll confess no wrongs
Only triumph in my right
I'd never change a thing
Or I might not be here tonight

With you
Standing in the dark
With You
Together, yet apart

Waiting for a moment
Like I hear about in songs
Finally you kiss me
And it lasts the whole night long

I'll write you no apologies
And I'll show no regret
For anything I've ever done
And everything I've said...

posted by 123454321 at 12:15 PM

Like The Rain

I never liked the rain until I walked through it with you
Every thunder cloud that came was one more I might not get through
On the darkest day there's always light and now I see it too
But I never liked the rain until I walked through it with you

I hear it falling in the night and filling up my mind
All the heaven's rivers come to light and I see it all unwind
I hear it talking through the trees and on the window pane
And when I hear it I just can't believe I never liked the rain

Like the rain
I have fallen for you and I know just why you
Liked the rain always calling for you
I'm falling for you now
Just like the rain

When the cloud is rolling over thunder striking me
It's as bright as lightning and I wonder why I couldn't see
That it's always good and when the flood is gone we still remain
Guess I've known all along I just belong here with you falling

Like the rain
I have fallen for you and I know just why you
Liked the rain always calling for you,
I'm falling for you now
Just like the rain I have fallen for you
I'm falling for you know just like the rain

And when the night falls on our better days
And we're looking to the sky
For the winds to take us high above the plains
I know that we'll find better ways to look into the eye of the storms that will be calling
Forever we'll be falling

Like the rain
I have fallen for you, and I know just why you
Like the rain always calling for you,
I'm falling for you now just
Like the rain
I have fallen for you and I know just why you
Like the rain always calling for you,
I'm falling for you now just
Like the rain
I have fallen for you and I know just why you
Like the rain always calling for you,
I'm falling for you now just
Like the rain

-Clint Black

posted by 123454321 at 12:20 PM

She Will Be Loved

Beauty queen of only eighteen
She had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her
She always belonged to someone else

I drove for miles and miles
And wound up at your door
I've had you so many times but somehow
I want more

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile

And she will be loved
And she will be loved

Tap on my window, knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I know I tend to get so insecure
It doesn't matter anymore

It's not always rainbows and butterflies
It's compromise that moves us along
My heart is full and my door's always open
You can come anytime you want

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain, oh
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile

And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved

I know where you hide
Alone in your car
Know all of the things that make you who you are
I know that goodbye means nothing at all
Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls

Tap on my window, knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful

I don't mind spending every day
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile

And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved

Please don't try so hard to say goodbye
Please don't try so hard to say goodbye

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Please don't try so hard to say goodbye...

-Maroon 5

posted by 123454321 at 10:30 AM

Brand New Day By John Carter

We'll sit around in circles
And join hands around a fire
We'll pretend we know what's happening
And wait to be inspired

We sing and we dance
And we leave it all to chance
When we stumble through the darkness
To a brand new day
We stand in awe and wonder
Of the magic spell we're under
And we stumble through the darkness
To a brand new day

We wander in the forest
Of our limitless desire
We squander all our fortune
Simply trying to get higher

We sing and we dance
And we leave it all to chance
When we stumble through the darkness
To a brand new day
We stand in awe and wonder
Of the magic spell we're under
And we stumble through the darkness
To a brand new day



posted by 123454321 at 8:53 AM

To You By John Carter

I'm feeling like a monolith
Some lingering lonely column
You see, I've fallen off a cliff
But I can't find the bottom

I'm speeding toward destiny
Destiny looks like a wall
I didn't lose my sanity
You know I gave it all

To you
To you, to make you see
To you
To you, a part of me

I'm standing in a room
And looking out the window
Alone in this cold womb
I have nothing to show

I'm looking down the road
Horizons seem so small
I wonder where I'll go
I think I'll let it fall

To you
To you, to make you see
To you
To you, a part of me...
posted by 123454321 at 8:53 AM

Lonesome Liar By John Carter

What am I supposed to do
Just sit around and wait for you?
How am I supposed to feel
When what I'd give you choose to steal?

Whatever happened to the lonesome liar
Blinded by passion, numb with desire
Wishing for love, but looking for lust
Working for treason while hoping for trust

Who am I supposed to be
With all these voices inside me?
Where am I supposed to go
In a world that I don't know?

Whatever happened to the lonesome liar
Blinded by passion, numb with desire
Wishing for love, but looking for lust
Working for treason while hoping for trust...



posted by 123454321 at 3:03 PM

What Can You Do By John Carter

What can you do with love
What do you do when hearts break down
What can you do with love
Who can you turn to
Who will you run to
What do you do when hearts break down?

I had love
The greatest love
If only for a time
I knew love
The killing kind
If only it were mine

You can do no great things
Only little things
With great amounts of love
You can climb no mountains,
You can't touch the sky
Unless a lover pulls you up above


What can you do with love
What do you do when hearts break down
What can you do with love
Who can you turn to
Who will you run to
What do you do when hearts break down?

I knew a girl
She held my heartstrings in one hand
And a switchblade in the other
A puppeteer
She made me dance and made me cry
But I loved her like no other

You can speak no evil
You can do no wrong
Only different kinds of right
You can see no ending
You don't see it coming
Until it's too late to fight

What can you do with love
What do you do when hearts break down
What can you do with love
Who can you turn to
Who will you run to
What do you do when hearts break down?
posted by 123454321 at 7:22 AM

She was shaking and talking
Louder and louder
Each sentence was sifted
To a very fine powder
Her face was wet and tight
Her grip was cold and light
A strong wind could blow you down
I heard myself say
Wait up girl
A strong wind
Could take me away

I said how long have
You been at large
They told me you were stashed
Last time i asked
She said I've been out now
For all of three hours
I just resurfaced
And here you are
I must admit
That it has been hard
So far

I said skeletons are fine
Your closet or mine
And we took turns recounting
The details of lost time
And when we had both
Admitted it all
We threw our heads back
And laughed until we cried
We laughed because the world
Is absurd and beautiful and small

There we were
Washed up on the curb
As the rush hour traffic
Went out with the tide
And I was aware that
With every word spoken and shared
I could see her shaking subside
I said sister looks to me
Like you're going to be fine


posted by 123454321 at 8:02 AM

Gone By John Carter

The stars aren't coming out tonight
They hide behind the rain clouds
But you're not here to see them
So it doesn't matter anyhow

So long gone,
So far away,
I wanted you
But you couldn't stay
So much time,
So much pain,
I wanted more
But I lost anyway

The sky is getting black now
The darkness hides my pain
The droplets on my jacket
Are they tears or are they rain?

So long gone,
So far away,
I wanted you
But you wouldn't stay
So much time,
So much pain,
I wanted more
But I lost anyway...
posted by 123454321 at 12:38 PM

Robot Factory By John Carter

I know you wanted
More from me
I know I saw
What I wanted to see

But don't you know
That's not for me
I won't attend
Your robot factory

A place you go
To become the same
A world where no one
Has a name

You knew more
Before you came
Now you're stuck
Inside a picture frame

Take your seat
Don't take a stand
Don't raise your voice
Just raise your hand

Take your notes
And take your test
And you'll turn out
Like all the rest
It's not a way
To be the best
It's just the safest way...
posted by 123454321 at 7:20 AM

Thank you for calling Utopia Automotive Service. Please
listen carefully to the following menu:

Press 1 to schedule an appointment for your car.

Press 2 to have your car seen immediately.

Press 3 to speak directly to a mechanic.

Press 4 to obtain the mechanic's home telephone number.

Press 5 to tell the receptionist or service advisor your life history, as well as your car's.

Press 6 to yell at the receptionist or service advisor.

Press 7 to yell at the mechanic.

Press 8 to disagree with the mechanic's diagnosis or repair because you read something different on the Internet.

Press 9 to ask the same question 30 times just in case the answer might change.

Press 10 if your feel your car's oil change is more important
than the engine replacement the mechanic is currently working on.

Press 11 if your car's condition has persisted for 6 months, but has suddenly become an emergency and needs to be seen today because you are going on vacation in the morning.

Press 12 if your car has been leaking gasoline for 10 days and you have just now become concerned at 11 PM on a Saturday night.

Press 13 if you declined all diagnostics and/or repairs, but are now furious with us that your car is rapidly deteriorating.

Press 14 to describe your car's horrible condition, ask us to determine whether an emergency visit is warranted and then attempt to convince us that it is not as bad as we think and can wait until next week.

Press 15 if your car hasn't run in 3 weeks, you are just now concerned, don't have time to come to the garage, and want a free blind diagnosis and repair plan over the phone.

Press 16 to demand IMMEDIATE repairs, but you would like us to hold your check until next month.

Press 17 if you are going to bring in your brand new Escalade for $5,000 worth of warranty repairs which (naturally) have 'nothing to do' with you driving with the emergency brake on, and then decline the oil change it is 10,000 miles overdue for.
posted by 123454321 at 11:59 PM

Life in the Trailer Park By John Carter (although I may not admit it)

There's a song on the radio
All about Texas
My girl's on the phone
With one of her exes
She's tellin' him all about
How good the sex is

This must be what life is like
In the trailer park
You don't wanna know what happens
'Round here after dark

Cockfights and hound dogs
And fryin' up bullfrogs
Dukes of Hazzard on TV
Runnin' from Boss Hogg

This must be what life is like
In the trailer park
I better not see you by my
Satellite dish after dark

The kids runnin' around
Makin' all kinds of sounds
That I ain't heard since Vietnam

This must be what life is like
In the trailer park
You city boys better not
Get caught out here after dark

We live simple and plain
But not that Amish way
It's more like the Crying Game

This must be what life is like
In the trailer park
We break out TV trays and
Hungry Man dinners after dark

We had a shotgun wedding
A rooster beheading
and a dog that's shedding fleas

That's the average day out here
In the trailer park
And you can't see what you just
Stepped in after dark...
posted by 123454321 at 11:56 PM