Haunted -By The Moody Blues

I really miss you when the nights are long
And only silence is heard in this world of song
But life goes on
And forever more
I'll be haunted by your love
I see you walking through the gates of home
And then I wake up to find I'm still all alone
I should have known
But forever more
I'll be haunted by your love
Lonely is the river as it tumbles to the ocean
Searching for our future
We can't find our way back home
My only comfort is the love we shared
And as I walk through this world
With sadness everywhere
I've had my share
And forever more
I'll be haunted by your love
And forever more
I'll be haunted by your love
Standing in the doorway
As the sunrise greets the morning
Searching for our future
We can't find our way back home
I really miss you when the nights are long
And only silence is heard in this world of song
But life goes on
And forever more
I'll be haunted by your love

posted by 123454321 at 10:07 PM

Is Santa Claus Real?

1) No known species of reindeer can fly, but there are 300,000 species of organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not completely rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

2) There are 2 billion children (defined as persons under 18) in the world; However, since Santa doesn't appear to handle Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, or Buddhist children, that reduces the workload down to 15% of the original total - 378 million according to the Population Reference Bureau. At an average census rate of 3.5 children per household, that's only 91.8 million homes. One presumes that there is at least one good child in each.

3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west. This works out to 822.6 visits per second. That is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chiminey, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chiminey, get back into the sleigh, and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which we know to be false but will accept for the purpose of these calculations), we are talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus eating, etc.
This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second. A conventional reindeer can run 15 miles per hour at the most.

4) The payload on the sleigh add another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-size set of Lego building blocks (about two pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that flying reindeer exist (see point 1), can fly very quickly (see point 2), and can pull ten times the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine, reindeer. We would need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparision, this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth 2.

5) 353,000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance. This would heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they would burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within .00426 seconds. Santa, meanwhile, would be subjected to forces 17,500 times greater than normal gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

In conclusion, if Santa ever did deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.

posted by 123454321 at 10:41 PM

Shared happiness is double happiness- shared sorrow is half sorrow.
posted by 123454321 at 6:23 PM

The sun rises, the sun sets
The seasons change
Rivers flow
Leaves fall
It's raining somewhere
Spiders make webs
Fish eat each other
Babies are born
Stars are born
People and stars get old
then stop getting old
All this happens and more
day after day after day
At no time am I consulted
posted by 123454321 at 11:00 PM

The following are a few questions I've been wrestling with:

Who decided that trendy mens' footwear should look like bowling shoes?

When did charming start passing for funny?

Aren't we as a nation sophisticated enough to hunt down and kill our enemies without constantly referring to them as "evil"?

Shouldn't people who drive those monster sports utility vehicles be required to take a truck-driving test?

And while we're on the subject, what does it say about us as a civilized and compassionate society when we allow our children to drive at the age of sixteen?

Are we almost done with entertainment based on humiliation, teenage girls singers, prefab boy bands and rap, or is this an eternal punishment?

Shouldn't fashion models look a little like us?

And finally, why can't I shake the feeling that the infinite emptiness that gnaws at my soul and refuses to be filled by any external means is the secret engine that drives our entire culture?

I eagerly await your answers.

posted by 123454321 at 10:56 PM

The Buddha taught that the first principle of existence is impermanence.

Absolutely everything in this universe is impermanent.

Impermanence creates uncertainty.

I don't know about you, but I have a very low tolerance for uncertainty.

Uncertainty causes me discomfort.

Discomfort causes me to think stupid things.

Stupid thoughts cause me to take stupid actions.

My stupid actions bring about unfortunate results.

Luckily, the unfortunate results are impermanent.

Is this a great universe or what?

posted by 123454321 at 10:53 PM

The concept of prayer, as I've always understood it, was that one beseeched God for what one wanted. Make me rich, famous, sexy, happy, married, single, whatever -- just improve upon the status quo. In my humble opinion, this is a waste of time. That's not to say that I think prayer is a waste of time. In fact, I now believe that prayer is essential to a happy life -- just not the kind of prayer that asks for stuff. What I now believe is that the true purpose of prayer is for us to get our actions and thoughts into alignment with the universe as it really is, as opposed to how we wish it to be. If we assume an omnipotent God, then God is everything. In other words, God is the universe as it really is. With that in mind, I've been praying a lot lately so that I might properly align myself. The two messages I've received thus far are: "be kind and loving" and "have fun while it lasts". While I find that comforting, it troubles me that the two ideas seem incompatible. Maybe I've been in Philly too long.
posted by 123454321 at 11:40 PM

"there's an infinite number of monkeys outside who want to talk to us about this script for Hamlet they've worked out." -The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

I used to pray every day for a bicycle when I was younger. Then I realized that God doesn't work that way. So I stole one and prayed for forgiveness instead..." -Emo Philips

"Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?" -The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

To summarize: it is a well known fact, that those people who most want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it. To summarize the summary: anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job. -The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
posted by 123454321 at 11:33 PM

Maybe Not -By John Carter

Helplessly watching a new mother's tears
While daddy is gone, buying everyone beers
Responsible parents are not to be found
Ozzie and Harriet just aren't around

And children are doomed to live with regret
When they find that their lives can't just be 'reset'
Reality isn't as hard as it seems
But you're happier living your life in your dreams

When the money is spent and the wars are all waged,
We've gained nothing, lost nothing, but certainly aged
So maybe we're pointless, no time for impact
But in the meantime, let's try to keep life intact

The killing, destruction, the worst in mankind
Maybe it's all a future civilization will find
In the burned-out hole in space
Where the Earth once spun in place

But then again, maybe not.

posted by 123454321 at 11:29 PM

Ignorance Sells -By John Carter

Despite all our battles
We're losing the fight
Jumping at shadows
And hiding from light
We're living in darkness
And living in shame
Swimming with sharks
And we're passing the blame
From father to son
And those inbetween
Thinking we've won
But unable to see
Forsaking the virgin
To save the unworthy
Forever we're searching
For someone more dirty
To stand by, and feel better
About being ourselves
We all know better
But ignorance sells.
posted by 123454321 at 11:28 PM

Simplicity -By John Carter

little by little we crawl across the floor
steadily making our way to the door
blindfolded by knowledge
we weren't meant to see
becoming the people
we weren't meant to be
controlling our fates
and waking to find
the lives we have left
are all in our minds
we have nothing real
just lies to ourselves
all the important things
are up on a shelf
to make room for our cell phones
and shiny sports cars
we dream to be famous
we dream to be stars
what's wrong with the world
was it so long ago
when we sat around fires
and played in the snow
when we saw what was there
and we knew it was true
there was earth, there was sky
there was me, there was you
no heaven, no hell
no devil, no God
just what we could see
not what we had bought
posted by 123454321 at 12:10 AM

Angels aren't supposed to fall for you.

She did it anyway.

I know she did, but angels aren't supposed to, even if I care for her, too.

She did it anyway.

I know she did, but angels aren't supposed to, I know I don't deserve her.

She did it anyway.

I know she did, but angels aren't supposed to, I'm happy she did, though.

She did it anyway.

I know she did, but angels aren't supposed to.
posted by 123454321 at 10:46 PM

I believe that everyone thinks they can write. This is not true. It is true, however, that everyone can direct. I believe that the laws of karma do not apply to the real world, where good things happen to bad people on a fairly regular basis. I believe that what doesn't kill us makes us bitter. I believe that the obsessive worship of movie, TV and sports figures is less likely to produce spiritual gain than praying to Thor. I believe that Larry was a vastly underrated Stooge, without whom Moe and Curly could not conform to the comedy law of three. I believe my parents are secretly proud of me. I believe that if you can't find anything nice to say about people whom you've helped to make wildly successful and then they stabbed you in the back, then don't say anything at all. I believe I have a great dog, maybe the greatest dog in the whole wide world, yes, he is! I believe that the guy who invented those speed bumps in the freeway that snap you back into consciousness when you're drifting into a nearby semi should be given a big hug. I believe that there are actually several cures for the summertime blues. I believe I've spent my life expecting people to behave in a certain way. I believe that when they didn't behave according to my expectations, I became angry, sad, confused and occasionally fearful. I believe these expectations are the reason I've been angry, sad, confused and occasionally fearful more than I care to admit. As a result, I now believe my expectations are the real problem. I believe that everyone has this very same problem, and they ought to start acting accordingly. I believe that El Nino is an international conspiracy perpetrated by evil roofing contractors. I believe it's high time The Beatles came clean on that whole "Paul is dead" thing. I believe that anyone who can read and speak clearly can be a network news anchorperson -- but not necessarily a weatherman. I believe that if I rid myself of insatiable cravings, lusts, paranoia, deep-seated anger and ill-will towards others, I'll be a much better person. I believe that TV is the cause of all the violence and immorality in our society -- ha! just kidding. I believe there's no business like show business, although if you're over-paid for feeding a big, scary monster, then that might be sort of like it. I believe I'm growing skeptical of cynicism. I believe that sex with multiple partners in a moving vehicle isn't all it's cracked up to be.I believe we are better than the animals because we're capable of reading in the bathroom. I believe that JFK had a much better understanding of the word, "Perks." I believe that words have power. Sticks and stones may hurt our bones, but bones heal in a relatively short time, while one critical parent can cripple you forever. With that in mind, let's try a little experiment. As you read the following words notice whether you feel the impulse to smile. Did it work? Did you smile immediately upon reading that? If not, that's okay. Don't get down on yourself. Remember, this is just an experiment. We can try it again. This time feel your lips curl up gently at the corners. You try to fight it, but your mouth seems to have taken on a life of its own. As you continue reading you can't help but notice that you are now smiling like the execs at Paramount after they realized they got a piece of Titanic for chump change. See? The power of words. In this case used for good. If you would like an example of words used for evil, call your mother and tell her you're really starting to make progress in therapy.
posted by 123454321 at 10:43 PM

I have abandoned all forms and sects of the practicing Christian Church. I have seen thousands of priests and bishops and even the Pope himself transmogrified in front of our eyes into a worldwide network of thieves, perverts and sodomites who relentlessly penetrate children of all genders and call it holy penance for being born guilty in the eyes of the Church. I have seen the Jews run amok in Palestine like bloodthirsty beasts with no shame, and six million brainless Baptists demanding the death penalty without any trial at all for pagans and foreigners and people like me who won't pray with them in those filthy little shacks they call churches. They are like a swarm of rats fleeing a swoop fire, and I want no part of them. Indeed, I have my own faith and my own God to worship, and I have been doing it with a certain amount of distinction for ten thousand years, like some fine atomic clock with everlasting batteries.
posted by 123454321 at 10:39 PM