Marriage: A very expensive way to get your laundry done for free.
posted by 123454321 at 11:26 AM

Despite all our battles
We're losing the fight
Jumping at shadows
And hiding from light
We're living in darkness
And living in shame
Swimming with sharks
And we're passing the blame
From father to son
And those inbetween
Thinking we've won
But unable to see
Forsaking the virgin
To save the unworthy
Forever we're searching
For someone more dirty
To stand by, and feel better
About being ourselves
We all know better
But ignorance sells.

posted by 123454321 at 6:03 PM

War benefits none but the buzzards.

posted by 123454321 at 5:59 PM

Reality TV... Now there's a contradiction in terms. Just how realistic is this crap? "We've picked the 7 most dysfunctional, yet attractive post-adolescents out of 500,000 applicants from across the nation to live in a fabulous house in New Orleans with our cameras all over the house to see what happens when people stop being polite... and start being watched constantly and very overpaid. We have Rick, a white supremacist from Alabama who is active in the KKK, and whose interests include breeding the perfect hangin' tree and crocheting. He is currently working on a biography of James Earl Ray. Sharing a bunk with him, we have Muhammed, an African-American Muslim who is a member of the local chapter of the Black Panthers and who also co-wrote and produced the popular rap song, 'Kill Whitey'."

What's this new one they have, Bachelorettes in Alaska? Right. Five women in full wedding gowns are really hiking up a snow-covered peak to select the perfect mate from the group of 50 desperate men waiting at the top. "Gee, I don't know... bachelor 23 has a nice igloo, but I really like 36's snowmobile..."

The Osbournes... Oh. God. This is NOT REALITY. This is a sub-reality that exists in the 50-yard radius around Ozzy Osbourne. They have a contract for something like $60 million with MTV and are the highest rated MTV show ever. Then again, their competition included "Remote Control" and some other pieces of crap.

Survivor... what's to survive? Even if you get voted off the island, you come back and co-author a book about it and go on Howard Stern and, if you're lucky enough to be a woman, you get a million bucks or more from Playboy to flash men across the country.

Reality? Well, reality is boring. That's why we HAVE TV in the first place, so we can avoid reality for a mind numbing 30 minutes or an hour, until we get up and go the hell to work. You want reality TV? Follow me for a day. Six days a week I wake up, drag my ugly ass out of bed, and go to work. I work for eight to twelve hours, then I come home, eat some ramen noodles, shower, and go to bed. Sunday, I sleep some more, then pay my bills. This is a red-letter day, folks. Then I pass out on the couch till Monday morning. Can I have MY $60 million now?


posted by 123454321 at 5:58 PM